Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Another day, another dead Italian... damn malaria.

Hmm, another query was sent to me today by a young whippersnapper interested in the politics.

He writes:

What is your dream president administration?



Hmm, well, Mr. noodle, this is certainly a good question- however, not necessarily one you would need to answer, given your obvious ethnic handicap (do you have your papers in order? The INS will be coming soon) and subsequent inability to have the vote. But, at least you make one hell of a pizza. Anyway, if you ask an old southern gentleman such as myself, the answer is obvious when you examine the most desirable qualities of an office holder.



Dashing Good Looks.

And a keen eye for truth.

Let that image soak in for a bit. Yes, surely no other man could be considered an "ideal" candidate than William "The Wizard" Jennings Bryan. The man has no shortage of ability or political pragmatism, and gets the majority of his lessons from the best guidebook of all- The Bible!

Now, then, in a vice president, you need a loyal, clear-thinking man. Wanna guess? I'll give you two hints:

He's one of the most famous sharpshooters in history.
And for you ladies, he's quite the looker.

If you said Aaron Burr, you've earned a shiny nickel!

Look at that handsome son of a bitch! And such an air of confidence! That sneer just screams "I'm better than you! Mostly because I have money!" That kind of man would never do something insane like, disagreeing with the primary authority, or trying to start his own country. And plus, he took care of that damn federalist Hamilton- if it was up to his leftist policies, we'd be slaves to bureaucracy.

Plus, it would save him from his awful B-movie career- and doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?

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